1. I wanted to look at this article: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/03/education/03abstinence.html about abstinence-only education and how a new study shows it to be more affective than other forms of sex-ed. Mostly I was thinking about "WHAT IS THE DATA" and also "HOW DO WE INTERPRET IT?".
2. ROUGH DRAFT (IT'S KIND OF SHORT AND I RAMBLE A LOT. NEEDS BETTER FOCUS? MORE INSIGHT?):
Dear Editor,
In the article "Quick Response to Study of Abstinence Education", Sarah Brown is quoted as saying that the latest study on abstinence-only education is "game changing", but is it really? No doubt it does bring up ideas for new methods to help teens navigate the difficulties they face. However, the immediate effect of the recent study is that social conservatives have adopted it as their own, claiming that they finally have the data to support not giving young people a balanced sex education. One study, while it does bring up interesting questions and new ideas, should not alone affect public policy on how we choose to educate teens, or how we view comprehensive sex-ed. For one thing, as the article noted, this particular study was very different in nature from traditional abstinence programs, not focusing on pushing morals or advocating waiting until marriage. These differences are worth paying attention to. In addition, an important part of sex-ed is not only preventing teens from having sex, but also helping them know how to protect themselves when they do become sexually active. If anything, more study is needed before we reconsider sex-ed as a whole.
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This is a great first draft! I would maybe explain a little more what "game changing" means in the article just to clarify exactly what the quoted is implying. Some of the sentences are a bit wordy, which makes them hard to understand the first read around, so perhaps just try and clean up the sentences with correct puntuation. You could maybe mention other things like age, socioeconomic status, and other factors that affect those being educated and relate the importance. Just a few suggestions but great work so far!
ReplyDeletethank you so much for the helpful comments. I was looking it over just now and there are definitely a lot of things that need rewording... very clunky. guess that's what i get for last minute writing!
ReplyDeleteGreat letter, A. H., as are the above comments. Perhaps if you included data on the effectiveness (or ineffectiveness) of abstinence education, your argument would be enhanced. You might find such information in the NY Times or National Public Radio websites.
ReplyDeletethanks jim! i'll definitely look into it :)
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